IMPORTANT: This is an amusing article, not to be taken seriously. Follow the advice here only IF you want to flaunt a fat belly!
You know, I am a fitness trainer, and I love it when people put on a lot of weight and come running to me for advice. I love holidays especially because I earn my highest income in this season!
And why not! There are so many people who were otherwise trim and slim but thought that putting on some extra weight in holidays is something very fashionable and that they ‘must’ do it so as not to lose face in front of their peers!
Holiday is approaching fast, so if you are ashamed of your thin figure then help is here! So how do you gain weight quickly and easily? There are not one but three ways to do it:
1. Always sleep after eating: If you want to gain weight fast, then this is the way to go – just make sure that you go to bed right after breakfast. DO NOT spend time in walking or running, as that would make you even thinner! To make sure that you gain a lot of pounds, eat a lot of turnkey and warm milk as your breakfast foods!
You see, when you sleep right after breakfast, your body won’t be able to utilize the foods you just consumed by turning them into energy. So it would instead store them as fat deposits! Do this for just one month and you will soon have a huge belly to flaunt!
2. Don’t eat natural vegetables: Never make the mistake of eating natural fruits and vegetables; they are rich in fiber and would keep you full for a long time. The end result would be that you won’t be able to eat as much as you would like to! You won’t be able to eat that bowl of chocolate soup or those delicious burgers! So stay away from vegetables and have potato chips instead! They are light plus rich in calories!
3. Don’t workout: If you workout, all of your precious calories and fat would be burned off and you would have a thin stature. Do you really want that? If not, then make sure NEVER to hit the gym! You should not even walk, run or jog. The only thing that is best for quick weight gain is sitting on your couch 24/7 and eating non-stop!
Needless to say, if your aim is rather to lose weight, then do exactly the OPPOSITE of what I’ve said above! In any case, I hope you enjoyed this article!