How I Lost Weight On New Years Eve

It was New Years Eve, and we were discussing our New Year’s resolutions. Mine was rather uninspired from the point of view of originality, but nonetheless, something that I very much wanted to do. I was going to lose 30 pounds, and do it (hopefully) naturally. None of my friends believed me and so we made a bet: if I could lose 30 pounds in four months, my friend Stan would buy me dinner at any place I wanted to go in town (“a fattening dinner,” he joked) and if not, I would do the same for him.

Now there’s only a week left and I still have 10 pounds to lose, and am in a panic. There are web sites promising various ways to lose 10 pounds in 1 week (sometimes even less) with stimulants, diuretics, radical diets, and the like, but I’ve tried them all and they don’t help me. It is like I’m stuck at my current weight. I’ve been here for three weeks, and I still have 10 pounds to lose.

Losing the first 20 pounds was easy. Well, at least the first 10 pounds of it. I stopped snacking, I started exercising, and voila! The weight dropped off right away. I went on a more rigorous diet to lose 10 pounds more, and soon I was within range of my goal. But then, when I had no more than 10 pounds to lose, it stopped working.

Oh, my weight would dip sometimes. I would have a good workout, and a few days of eating almost nothing, and suddenly, I’d be only 8 pounds above my goal, but as soon as I’d give in to my ravishing hunger and eat a little more, I’d have 10 pounds to lose again. I’d drink gallons of water a day, while popping ephedra like they were aspirin, and still it wouldn’t matter: 10 pounds to lose.

If it were a matter of being desperately behind my goal, of having some unaccomplishable task still hanging over my head, somehow it would seem easier to give in. But it is maddening to be so close to your goals and not able to accomplish them, especially knowing that your friends will make fun of you for, once again not quite reaching them. I don’t know how I’ll show my face in a week if I still have those 10 pounds to lose.

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